Wednesday, September 23, 2020

50 Bartenders And Liquor Store Employees Share Their Funniest Stories Of Teenagers Trying To Buy Booze

Let's be real—every day, thousands of underage people all over the world come to bars and liquor stores attempting to get themselves some alcohol. Some of them succeed. Most of them (hopefully) don't.

If you've ever worked at a place that sells alcohol, you know how funny and creative these attempts can get. But if you've never worked at such a place, this post is here to fill you in. Recently, Reddit user FallingStar2016 asked liquor store employees to share their funniest stories of underage people trying to get booze. "Liquor store employees of reddit, what is the craziest instance of underaged kids trying to get booze you've ever encountered?" the user wrote in their post. The post currently has 1.4k comments and 2.3k upvotes.

Bored Panda invites you to scroll down below and look at some of the funniest stories we found.

More info: reddit.com

#1

I used to work at a bar. A girl came in and gave me an ID. I asked if it was hers. She said yes. What she didn’t realize is that the purse she stole the day before, and the ID she was now using, belonged to one of the other bartenders. Calling her over to “look at this” was a satisfaction I havn’t felt before or since.

#2

Me - Do you have ID

Him - *hands it over

Me - This says you're 17

Him - I must have picked up my brothers ID

Me - No, it has your face on it

Him - We're twins

Me - Twins are usually the same age

He left quickly after that

#3

I college I worked at a liquor and beer place adjacent to a grocery store. Lots of regulars and people from the neighborhood. For several weeks I had been serving this one guy: pleasant, polite, early 20’s, 6’4”, maybe 260lbs. One day after he left, this older dude who was in line came up to the counter and said “you know that kid is only 16, right?” I couldn’t believe it. Apparently he rotates from store to store until he gets caught. Sure enough next time he came in I asked for ID. He just said “goddammit” and stormed out of the store.

#4

10 year old boy walks up to the counter with a bottle of whiskey. I laugh and just say no. I'm thinking it's such a young kid that it had to be a lazy and/or drunk parent sending their kid in thinking it's no big deal.

"No?" "Yeah, no. You're a small child. I can't sell you that." "Here's my ID."

The 10 year old boy was actually a 23 year old woman. I did the rest of the transaction in silence.

#5

Weekday night so I'm flying solo. Kid rolls up in a Camaro, clearly 14 or 15 years old, leaves his also underage girlfriend in the car, struts in like he owns the place and starts browsing the aisles. I see him stuff two fifths of Jim Beam down his pants in the mirrors. I lock the door and confront him as he tries to leave. He gets all bowed up but finally pulls the bottles out when I threaten to mop the floor with his head. I unlock the door and let him out. He goes to the car, reaches under the seat and pulls out a revolver and heads back for the door. I pull the shotgun from under the counter, set it on the counter, and hit the alarm. He stops when he sees the shotgun, his girlfriend is screaming at him and they yell at each other for a minute or two, he gets back in the car just in time for a police car to come screaming into the lot. He spends the next hour facedown on the asphalt while the cops tear the car apart. The girlfriend is shoved into the back of the police car. The car was his dad's, so was the revolver. His dad literally dragged him in by the shirt collar the following Monday begging for forgiveness. He was charged and plead guilty, though it was plead down to something like assault. I don't know what happened to him after that.

#6

I had a guy come in to try to buy booze with an absolutely terrible fake tattoo (tattoos and alcohol have the same age restrictions here). I'm guessing he thought that if he had massive tribal tattoos doen his arm we would just assume that he was old enough. He'd clearly done them with a felt tip pen, but it was a hot day so the sweat was making them drip down his arm.

#7

I was in line at a liquor store once and a kid was ahead of me in line with some alcohol in a hand basket. He approaches the counter and the liquor store employee asks how old he is. Kid says he's 16 but the alcohol is for his grandpa who is sitting out in the car. Kid explains grandpa has mobility problems and asked the kid to run in for him. Kid hands the employee grandpa's ID.

The employee laughs this big [freaking] laugh and kicks the kid out. As I'm paying the employee is saying things to me like "can you believe the balls on these kids?" "Kid must've thought I'm some kind of moron" etc etc.

He was really proud of himself until this old man with a cane came in and yelled "Its me, [freaking] Grandpa!! Thanks for making me get out of the car, asshole!"

#8

Guy comes in, says he forgot his ID, but he’s 25 and “couldn’t you just give me a break, I come in here all the time, i was in here like two days ago”

Cashier keeps saying no, sorry, etc, and guy keeps getting more desperate

Guy eventually goes “dude I’ve been coming here for ten years!”

To which the cashier just goes “didn’t you say you were 25?”

#9

I got one on the opposite end of the spectrum. Worked at a gas station on a college campus. Now some stores in my state are allowed to forgo ID as long as they look over 45. My store was a "card-all" store. Meaning if you didn't have your ID, no matter who you are, I can't sell it to you. Same goes for cigarettes.

This old guy hobbles in on a cane and makes for the beer cooler. As he's walking to the counter with this six-pack I notice his hat. "WWII Veteran. D-Day. 29th Infantry."

This guy liberated France when he was younger than me, and probably hasn't had to use his ID for hooch in decades, if ever. Fortunately he was good natured about it, and we spent a bit of time talking about the absurdity of rules like that.

#10

At the gas station I worked at this kid walks in--no way he's more than 16--heads straight to the beer cooler as my co-workers and I stare incredulously.

He grabs a 12-pack and as he's approaching the counter, I ask "Can I see your ID?" He looks me in the eye, says "Nope", drops a $20 on the counter and walks out.

We weren't sure what to do after that, because he didn't exactly steal anything, but we also couldn't just accept the money, because that would be selling to a minor.

I left it for my boss to figure out.

#11

Not the employee, but yesterday I went to the store for some beer.

A kid, around 18 or 19 years old, walks in with a fake ID and the owner looks at it and says "You literally would have a better chance of paying a homeless guy to get you booze instead of this super fake ID."

I laugh and do my shopping. 5 minutes later the kid comes back with a homeless due, gives him 50 bucks and tells him "Buy me a bottle and you can get a six pack."

The owner laughs and then says "Wow... you took my advice!" and honors the purchase.

WTF...

#12

Two guys tried to buy beer. I asked them for ID, they legit gave me their actual IDs. Like a vertical ID that had their dob clearly making them under 18. When I told them no they were like "really man, can't you just be cool?" Like their whole strategy was to hope that the clerk would just be a cool guy.

Hey, at least they were honest.

#13

So here's the thing. In Texas, if you get caught selling to a minor, you are personally liable for the sale. That means you get a criminal charge and a fine to pay. In addition to that, the store you work at can also recieve a (much larger) fine or lose their license. The TABC (Texas Alcoholic Bit**** Beverage Commission) likes to run stings. They'll get a person under the age of 21, usually the child of a cop, to attempt a purchase of an alcoholic beverage. Well, one day I'm working and get a phone call from a neighboring store down the road. They warn me they had a sting come through, so be aware. A few minutes later this like, 10 yearold kid who can't see over the counter comes up and tries to make a purchase. "Nah dude, gotta be 21". Kid leaves. Coworker and I look at each other and are like "Yeah... got eeem. Nobody has their lives ruined today. Woo." And here's where it goes crazy. The cop in charge of the sting was in line behind the kid. And he loses his [crap]. He's in my face with his badge screaming at me and threatening to arrest me, demanding I tell him who tipped me off to the sting, saying it's illegal to refuse to answer questions, and just generally making a huge scene in my store. Meanwhile his kid is just standing alone outside.

#14

In college we threw this big party that needed people to wear wristbands if they were 21 and up. I was stuck IDing at the door for a bit and this girl comes up and there’s definitely no way she’s 21, and sure enough when it’s their turn her and her group of friends all get that eerie silent that underage people do when they’re hoping not to get caught by a bouncer. She shows me her ID, it’s my friend. Not just my friend but my friend who had her purse stolen recently. I told her this isn’t you. She said yes it is. I said no it isn’t, this is my friend, where’s her purse you took? The entire group goes deer in the headlights, she drops the purse and they all take off.

She had like 15 IDs in the purse

#15

Some kid used my friends ID.

The kid was white and my friend was black

#16

I was working behind a bar at a theme park. A kid who looked about 13 walked up to the bar and asked me for a beer. Of course, I asked him for ID. His response was “I left it in my car with my wife.” Couldn’t serve him, but could fault him for trying.

#17

Worked at a beer store/bar a few years back.

Two kids come in, look to be in their 20s (I wasn’t behind the bar, so I’m only going on what was told to me), and sit at the bar. They call the bartender over and order, and she asks for IDs, which they present.

She immediately sees something’s weird about the card and calls over our boss (the owner) who takes a look and is like “ya that’s pretty fake.”

Before they can even look up, these two dart down the back hallway, towards the private dining room and our storage warehouse.

I see my boss, another bartender, and the store manger go running after them, and I go through the door on my side of the building, hoping to either cut them off, or at least keep them from getting out through the warehouse.

Eventually, they try to hide in an empty dining room, while the owner calls the cops and negotiates with them through the door.

So eventually the cops come and agree to take them out the back door (not through the restaurant area).

While waking through the lot, the one asshole had the balls to say “oh, that’s my car over there officer...” like he’s gonna just drive home.

The cop responds “oh ya? Well mine’s just a little farther up, so let’s take that one!”

As far as I know, that fake ID is still tacked behind the bar like a hunting trophy.

#18

I worked overnight at a gas station

Kid rolled in around 2am with what looked like a legit ID for being 21. But dude looked like a child. Also saw a cop car parked on the other end of the store when I went to check if it was a sting

I told the kid we can't sell alcohol past 2am. Ended up screaming at me saying "its only 5 minutes past".

Truth be told it was just a cover to keep from telling him I wasn't going to let him buy it here.

#19

I was a junior high teacher and worked at a liquor store in the evenings. A student came in while I was there. He took one look at me and turned around and left with a muttered “[frick].” It was all over the school the next day and I wasn’t the one who told.

#20

Had some sketchy ass girl walk in, ask where the Mickey's were, showed her and she came up to the till, asked for ID and she goes " Oh I'm not from here", cool. I don't care? So she starts rifling through her purse and pulls out her phone ( you need a physical Card for proof of ID, Not a photo) and says "well my phones dead,you figure it out and hucks the phone in my direction, Ok? You still need ID. So then I just said "No,you figure it out" and slid the phone across the till back at her. Then whips out a pack of smokes and screams "then how the [frick] did I get these" And proceeds to slam them on the till, again, cool don't care, I'm asked you for ID, you either have it or dont? I have customers to serve who actually don't act like entitled children.

#21

Not a liquor store, but a 24h gas station that sold alcohol and had a drive thru window. Had a car full of obvious teenagers order a case of beer. I went up to the window with the beer and asked for ID. While they were “looking for it” suddenly I hear this insanely loud crash from the front of the store. I go to investigate, it’s another teenager who had knocked over a display of chips and whatnot near the entrance. I’m out there for like 20 seconds when I hear another loud noise from the back, I go back there to see a kid scurrying back out the drive thru window with the [freaking] case of beer and the car screeching off. And of course the kid from the front books it and gets in the car too.

#22

On my 21st birthday, I was waiting in line to buy a drink at a liquor stand at a festival. Extremely young girl in front of me tried to buy a Mike’s Harder Lemonade. The bartender took her ID, laughed, and proceeded to ask the girl what her zodiac sign was. The girl just stared at her dumbfounded and walked away to cry to her other friends who were also clearly under 16 years old.

#23

worked at a liquor store right outside of the university i was attending. had a dood come in, had to be like 18/19. he comes up and gives me the ID of a guy i grew up with... i just started laughing.

#24

I worked in a liquor store for a few months back in 2001/2002. New Year’s Eve, kid comes through with an out-of-state ID, trying to buy a bottle of hooch. I look at it, and tell him he’s not old enough.

He replied, “Oh, that must be my twin brother’s license.”

He didn’t get the booze.

#25

I had an underage kid offer me $50 if I sold him alcohol.

“None shall pass!”

#26

It was late August/early September and our boss made the liquor distributors and liquor floor salespeople work on making a stupid pyramid out of 1.75 bottles of expensive tequila (handles) to ‘drive back to school business.’ A group of teenage boys started jumping up and down at the outside entrance to the store, repeatedly setting the sensor for our automatic doors on and off. Aforementioned liquor salespeople get irritated and proceed to use our (automatic) exit door as they approach teenagers to shoo them away. I was hired as a cashier and was relegated by boss to stand in the cashier box and NEVER leave it while on duty.

Therefore, I was also the only one to glimpse the super super fast kid who sprinted past the melee and into the store (thru the automatic exit) and directly to the tequila pyramid where he managed to grab a single handle under his arm and burst out of the store through the (also automatic) entrance doors as the liquor salesmen tried to come back in and apprehend him.

This kid dodges them all, handle under his arm like a football, raises his fist in triumph once he reaches parking lot, then they all run away laughing.

Smartest, most organized group of teenage troublemakers I’ve ever encountered. I hope they had fun drinking their well-earned handle of patron and that they remembered to hydrate, too.

#27

Worked at a gas station/convenience store in college. I loved IDing cops in uniform. They'd point at their badge and I'd say "It doesn't look real to me."

The State guys and sheriff's were cool; didn't hassle them. But the local idiots were douche bags

#28

Not really crazy but he came to the counter with a bottle of somthing.

I asked him for ID, he's reply was somthing like "is this how you treat all your customers?", in some kind of tone like it was insulting to ask for ID.

I said yes.

We both kind of stood there for a few moments and he asked if I wasn't going to sell him anything. Not without ID, and then he walked out.

#29

Two guys come up to the bar I work at. Guy: can I have two beers? Me: can I see two ID's? Guy: can I have two cola's? Me: two cola's right away!

#30

One time one kid who had tried many times bought a lot of groceries, and then tried to put all the items back and get alcohol of an almost equal value, but slightly in the store's favour. When we caught him, we didn't know what to do as he was a kid, he hadn't technically stolen financially and it didn't seem malicious enough to get the police involved. So my manager had him call his mum and dad (he said it was either them or the police), he chose his dad, who looked like an addict, who on arrival seemed more bothered about the inconvenience of having to come and pick his son up, was more annoyed at us and instead tried to buy the alcohol for him. While this is technically illegal, we usually let it slide, but this time we outright refused using the law as grounds.

#31

About 10 years ago I worked in a local supermarket. At that time in my country you could buy beer and wine at age 16, the same age you can drive a low speed scooter with a helmet.

So this group of kids came in every weekend to buy beer and wine with their helmets in hand. Always assumed they were old enough. One night the local cop was in line behind them, off duty. I decided to ask for their ID this time, turns out they were 14 / 15 years so yeah no beer for them. When its his turn cop asks me if they come in often, i tell him they try every weekend.

Next weekend the cop waits for them around the corner, busting them for underage drinking, drunk driving and driving without a license.

#32

I was working at a bar and they had me sub in as a bouncer once. The rule was card everyone if they looked under 40. There was a guy that easily looked mid 30’s. Mustache, balding, Land’s End jacket - everything. Everyone in his group was mid 30’s. He didn’t have ID so I didn’t let him in. He was so pissed off but there was nothing I could do.

#33

I work at a bottle store in Australia, not long ago we had a bunch of kids about 13-15 yo come in and start stealing bottles of spirits. We had a security guard at the time who was about 6'3 and 150kg, these kids were swearing at him and running in like they wanted to fight. Crazy lil bastards they were...

#34

Two guys came into my bar. Asked for ID. One showed me his ID and it showed him a few days past his 21st b-day. Second one handed me a paper temporary DL with no picture. Shockingly it also showed him a few days past his 21st b-day. What a coincidence they have the same b-day. Another coincidence, they had exactly the same name and the same address. I just laughed and was like, "I can't take this." Their excuse was that they were twin brothers and their parents had given them the same name.

#35

I worked at a store where the liquor closet was in back and you had to be 21 to go down the hallway to it. I check this one kids ID and it’s obviously fake, I confiscate it and he’s like “whatever douche.” Proceeds to walk back into the liquor closet, grab a 5th of [crappy] vodka, and place it in the counter then demand I sell it to him. My coworker and I were dying laughing at him.

#36

used to work in a bottle shop attached to a supermarket, but this was a time when I was on a register in the supermarket.

I saw a kid who I knew was 13, or 14 at most, but was very tall and looked older.

I saw him walking into the bottle shop, and tried to call my boss, to let the bottle shop know the kid was underage. My supervisor chose to ignore me. I could see her talking to her friend. I could see people telling her that I was calling. She was too busy chatting to answer the phone.

A few minutes later, I saw the kid walk out with a slab. He even said hello to me.

Shortly afterwards, I had the opportunity to go to the bottle shop and ask if they carded the kid.

Bottle Shop: "Yeah, he was from interstate tourist destination".

Me: "No, he lives down the road, he is 13 years old".

Bottle shop was peeved. Not sure what they wanted me to do? Bolt down the length of the checkouts while I was serving customers to tell on the kid? Probably not.

#37

I worked in a convenience store, and I had two kids come up wanting beer. One produced a license, and I told them that I needed both licenses. The other one kept asking me what I was talking about like he was confused what a license was. It was like that TIFU about pretending to not know what potatoes were. So I took the beer and put it behind the counter and told them both to get out.

Later that day, the kid with an ID tried to buy beer again but without his friend, so I told him to get out or I was going to ban him from the store. He didn't like that, but I'm bigger than most people, so he didn't start yelling .

#38

When I was working the door at a bar (as mentioned in a comment above) I also taught at a high school. One night I was at the bar just hanging out, and one of our students came in with a horribly forged ID... like, five feet away from where I was sitting. The next time I saw him at school he had SUCH AN EXPRESSION on his face; he was really glad when I told him I wasn't going to get him in trouble

#39

4 high school girls came in. They bought [crappy] vodka and white claws. I asked for their IDs, all but one gave me the IDs. Told the one without she had to leave and that she couldn’t buy, look, touch anything. The other 3 lose their [crap] and while I’m reading the IDs one of the IDs says that she is 37. I laughed, and told them all to leave. They looked like they were 15.

#40

Former gas station employee... some kid, I think he was the kid of a judge or something, got access to the machine they use to make IDs and made his friends actual IDs with faked birthdates.

#41

Worked at a liquor store but this was a case of underage cigarettes not booze. 17 year old kid comes in at 7 pm. Next day is his 18th birthday, which I knew because I checked his ID before selling him a pack. I used to try to buy smokes at 17 so I knew the deal and I wasn’t mean I just laughed and said “sorry man, I’ll be more than happy to sell you a pack tomorrow. Happy birthday in advance though!” And this kid legit cussed me out for ten minutes straight.... instead of coming in the next day he got 86’ed from the only liquor store in town - by the owner who was there at the time. I quit working there shortly after so not sure if the kid was still 86’ed by his 21st.

#42

Not liquor but tobacco, I work at a gas station and one night a boy came in and wanted to buy cigarettes. When I asked for his ID he handed me one. The only problem is that the ID was not his but his older brother's... little did he know that I went to school for 10 year's with his older brother. So no cigarettes for that boy

#43

It's not crazy, really, but I always used to have gangs of people all walk around the store, pick bottles, etc, and then all but one of them leaves the store, snickering, before the one with the ID came to he counter. I'd tell them they had to get every. Single. One. Of thier friends back in here and show me thier IDs too or no booze. I got a lot of verbal harassment, death threats, and even one guy who didn't directly threaten to kill me himself, but said his wife would.

#44

I worked by myself in a pretty small liquor store. One night, a guy came in surrounded by underage people. I ask all of them for their IDs, which of course they couldn't produce. The one guy that was 21 got real hostile and wanted to fight. I just laughed and asked, "what's your beef bro?" to which he stormed out of the store leaving this herd of youths in my store. I wonder what his game plan was

#45

I had a guy probably late 20's come in with 2 minors and the minors grabbed their 6packs off the rails and when they came up we carded them all he got upset but we can't sell to people buying for minors.

#46

Another one is this kid comes looks 15 but his license looks like a legit Maine ID so we sell to him a few times until I get the idea to look up the name on the ID on Facebook, kid put his REAL name on it, I asked a girl at my other job if she knew him and yeah he's only 16, so word got around that we knew and we never saw him again.

#47

many years ago my boyfriend worked at the liquor store. he sold an underage Marc Andre Fleury a bottle of champagne, back when he still played for Pittsburgh

#48

I worked at a Walgreens in Austin and I had been there for about a week or so. We’re supposed to card people 40 and under for alcohol, and you have to actually scan their ID. since I was new and the manager was there I asked for his ID. This guy goes ape[crap] and starts yelling in front of all the customers and I kept saying “I’m sorry sir I can’t continue the transaction until I scan an ID”. This went on until the manager came by and talked to him explaining exactly what I said. So he give me he [fricking] ID that he had with him, he was just being a d***. Yea the manager said to just card people that look under 25... [frick] them I’m glad I left.

#49

I worked in a convient store for years and kids would pester adults outside to buy it for them. Sold it to the adults to give to kids because I didn't get paid enough to care. Legally I was fine.

The adults that needed to buy alcohol on Sunday morning were worst. It was a stupid law but dude wait a couple of hours.

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