Thursday, September 3, 2020

“If People Used ‘Break Up Lines’ Instead Of ‘Pick Up Lines’ What Would Some Of Them Be??”: 71 Of The Funniest Answers

If people broke up with each other the same way they used cheesy pick up lines, the world would be a much happier place—full of giggling, constant sunshine, and far fewer tears. At least that’s the theory.

Reddit user Jamicandude69 asked their fellow redditors to share what some break up lines would be if they were like pick up lines, and people adored the thread. With over 87.5k upvotes, 9.6k comments, and more awards than I’ve seen in a long time, you can bet your bottom dollar that the thread was a roaring success.

Scroll down for Bored Panda's chat with the author of the thread and remember to upvote your fave cheesy break up lines. Let us know which ones you liked the most and, if you’re feeling brave today, share with all the other Pandas if you’ve ever had a positive break up in your life.

#1

Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore

#2

Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.

#3

You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years

Jamicandude69 told Bored Panda that they got inspired to create the thread when they were breaking up with their ex: "She said, 'You should have had a breakup line.' I just figured I would ask Reddit for next time," the redditor said.

"I did not expect it to get this much attention," said the redditor, pointing out they thought that may a couple of people would respond. But the idea that the thread would blow up to be so huge never even crossed their mind.

"I think the world would be a better place with cheesy break up lines because people who normally would get sad or cry about their ex can laugh during the hard parts or just have some fun," they said that break up lines would get rid of a lot of people's anxiety.

#4

Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.

#5

Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.

#6

Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist

Jamicandude69 also had some advice for anyone who is scared to break up with their partner. "Don't be scared if you wanna break up with someone. If you truly want to break up with someone then, 'Just Do It." It might hurt and be depressing for a couple of months, but it will get better," the redditor shared their 'this too shall pass' philosophy.

Breaking up with someone can be immensely stressful for you, your partner, and for any mutual friends that you have (and will have to divide up among yourselves). It’s rarely easy. It makes you overthink things. And sometimes it makes you want to put off the break up indefinitely.

#7

Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.

#8

Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.

#9

Hey babe I think is time we take our relationship to the previous level

Relationship coach Samantha Burns told The Cut that before you make the final decision to break up with someone, you should try to work through any issues you have together. A break up shouldn’t come out of the blue because people aren’t mind readers.

After you break up, you should watch your emotions for a few months. If you find that you’re not just missing your ex but actually fully regretting the break up, it might be worth meeting up with them and having a long heart-to-heart. You never know, it might be the perfect chance to use that cheesy pick up line you always wanted to say out loud.

#10

I think we need to become better strangers.

#11

Knock knock.

Who's there?

My divorce attorney

#12

Are you a music fan? Because you are going to have a deeper appreciation for Adele's songs.

#13

Hey baby I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.

#14

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you

#15

Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.

#16

I knew this girl in middle school who would break up with boys by saying: roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you

#17

Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?

#18

If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER

#19

I'm not gay but I'll learn.

#20

Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.

#21

I need to get like Elsa and let you go!

#22

Are we tectonic plates? Because we’re drifting apart.

#23

We need to cover more ground so we should split up.

#24

Babe are you a checkered flag because we're finished

#25

We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.

#26

Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.

#27

I know opposites are supposed to attract each other, but im hot af and i still dont see us together

#28

Hey, lets hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!

#29

Roses are red

Violets are blue

You made my life a mess

Please call a clean-up crew

#30

Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon

#31

Damn girl are you being followed? Cause I been seeing people behind your back.

#32

Hey girl, are you a newspaper?

Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day

#33

Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.

Not so fast

#34

Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life

#35

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Girl its been fun

But im leaving you

#36

Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U

#37

Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.

I think this has been said somewhere else

#38

Roses are red, violets are blue, the trash is dumped and so are you.

#39

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.

#40

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would keep u and I pretty much where they are, far apart from each other. Maybe even make them a little further away.

#41

Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.

#42

Hey babe are you a time share, because I've been trying to get out of this for like 3 years. You're a waste of fucking money and you're only available when I'm not.

#43

"Hey baby, is your name Delta? Because I've spent the last forty-five minutes waiting for you to take off."

#44

you know how you like to call me daddy?

well, daddy is just going to go out for cigarettes......

#45

A boyfriend when I was 14 and I agreed if we ever broke up we would text the other "I break up with you." He broke up with me and didn't use the line. Weak.

#46

Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!

#47

Its time to be like a kit-kat and split up.

#48

Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.

#49

Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.

#50

I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.

#51

you’re a man, i’m a woman... we’re just too different

#52

Are you desert because im finished

#53

Roses are red

Violets are blue

But I don't care

Cause I'm leaving you

#54

Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.

#55

Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.

#56

Dang girl, are you an angel? Because your dead to me.

#57

We're donion rings

#58

Me: Did it hurt?

Her: Did what hurt?

Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

#59

Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.

#60

Also, can we just officially title them "drop off lines"?

#61

Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you. - Homer Simpson

#62

It smells like overdog in here.

#63

I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.

#64

Are you a full Caterpillar Truck? cuz I'm gonna dump you somewhere in a construction zone

#65

Are you a zoom meeting?

#66

Are you a mirror because I can see myself out the door.

I must have died and gone to hell because you're the devil

#67

"It's not you, it's me!"

#68

Hey girl, are you a newspaper?

Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus

#69

Roses are red

And you gotta go

Because I found out

That you is a ho

#70

Are you being followed? Because I've been seeing someone behind your back.

#71

Welcome to dumpsville sweetheart. Population you.

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