Kevin Alters created "The Addict's Diary" so that people would have a place online to share their failures, successes, and lessons they have learned throughout their path to recovery from addiction. Empowering people to speak up, the platform allows those affected by substance abuse to spread their story, offering a sense of catharsis and community while informing the unaware of the gruesome realities of this epidemic.
Below are some of the latest transformations people have submitted to "The Addict's Diary." For more, check out Bored Panda's earlier article on the project here.
More info: theaddictsdiary.com | Facebook | Instagram
#1
My name is Emerald. The last year of my heroin and meth addiction had me living in motel rooms and shelters. Both of my sons were taken from me. I was a shell of a human being. Today, I am 21 months drug free! I have custody of both of my boys and I have found peace for the first time in my life. With all the division on Facebook lately, share this to let everyone know that recovery is possible!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#2
A few months ago, Shaun Weiss was arrested on drug charges. He starred as Goldberg in our childhood favorite film Mighty Ducks. I’m sure you remember this, because his decline went viral. Everyone couldn’t wait to share how far he had spiraled down. Well, now he has over 200 days sober and a brand new smile.
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#3
From dying in the streets from a heart infection, to sleeping in my car starving for days at a time. To being turned away from the hospital and left to die because they wouldn't treat me, to abandoned by everyone and everything, I found the strength to get clean, get treatment at a different hospital, get the heart surgery I needed, and from there I stayed clean even though I was still homeless. It's been a rough ride but it's now been six months since then! I've come so far. Yesterday I finally moved in to a shared house and my own little space and bought myself some nice things for it! I'm so happy. I thought I would be dead by the end of the year last year. But I'm thriving more than ever. It's cool to be back to living.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#4
This was me 613 days ago when I entered rehab. Physically, mentally & spiritually broken. I'd lost everything and thought that death was what I deserved. 613 days later I'm still clean and sober and I only look back to learn from the lesson that my addiction taught me.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#5
He celebrates 5 years clean tomorrow so I figured I would show you what living clean and working a 12 step program can do for you ! BTW anyone is welcome to share his story!! As you all have been with us for this amazing life changing Journey. He was a crack ,heroin, and pill addict for 30 plus years. The 1st photo is in active addiction. The 2nd photo is at 5 years clean. I am so damn proud of him!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#6
My name is Jorden and I’m an addict. I have used heroin and meth for the last ten years of my life. Just to keep it short and sweet, my inability to deal with life lead to me to a needle and spoon. I lived in complete misery and dereliction for years, feeling sorry for myself and using anyone I could to get my next shot of dope. I’ve had multiple overdoses and many other life threatening situations as a result of my addiction. I lived homeless for years and my family didn’t know what else to do with me. I’ve also been to treatment 8 times, each time I never fully surrendered to any type of program or new way of life. One thing I did do was never stop trying. I came to treatment court ordered for my eighth time on January 1st, 2020. I remember being sick to my stomach that I had to try and do this thing again. The longer I stayed and actually put forth some effort things started to change. I started realizing that drugs were never the problem, my thinking and my reaction to drugs was the problem. Today I’m 6 months clean and I’m blown away at how much better my life has gotten. I have bad days, but I used to have bad months and years. There’s a lot of people that are probably waiting on me to relapse and they have good reason for that. I’ve finally reached the point where I I’m grateful today that I don’t have to pick up or put one in me when life gets hard. If I can do it so can you.
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#7
Change is possible. So glad I finally decided to ask for help. please if you or a loved one is struggling with addiction reach out! It’s never too late!
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#8
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#9
I am an addict. I’ll always be an addict. Today I’m a grateful addict. I’m grateful for the people I have in my life, for the people who’ve helped me along the way, and continue to help me. Today I’m at peace. After all the relapses time and time again, I continued to try. That’s all we can do. Today I’m clean. Tomorrow I’m going to wake up clean. That’s what matters, one day at a time. Some days are hard and some days are easy. If we keep trying, WE DO RECOVER.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#10
"19 years of gratitude one day at a time...It is the road worth traveling if you are struggling. Old timers are here to guide us but new comers to sobriety are the greatest gift to this simple program. Of course it's not always easy. First thing I did and continue to do is cut toxic people outta my life, then comes the first step and then freedom (if you work it). Even non-addicts could use the 12 step program to better their lives. To me it's a life program. I am a better man, father, husband, friend, band mate and creative spirit because of this program. I LOOK UP EVERYDAY AND SAY THANK YOU" - Nikki Sixx
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#11
My biggest tragedy also became my greatest asset - my addiction. I crawled from hell and hitch hiked home, time and time again. Thank god for those who also scraped their knees crawling from the depths of their addictions, only to survive and teach me how to do so as well. I’m not embarrassed by the photo on the left, because I’m empowered to keep going by knowing how far I’ve come and what I’ve overcame to be the girl on the right. Oh, and one last thing: Narcan saved my life.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#12
I’m Hadassah and this is my son Braxton. I was a teenage mother. I was not with the baby’s father when I went through my pregnancy. I didn’t have many people there by my side. After I had my son, I learned that I still wanted to be a teenager. Unfortunately I didn’t get the memo that it is not how it works. I had many close friends and family that tried showing me that. I did not listen. After a night of being drugged, taken advantage of, and being on the verge of overdosing, my mother Jennifer Lane and Rebecca Adkins Goulart convinced me that I wasn’t a piece of crud. They said that they knew deep down I had a heart and soul. I was a product of my toxicity and sexual abuse. Now I can say I’m a product of God. So when you see an addict I am she. I am he. I am them.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#13
This is Misty Loman. She is internet famous for meth progression. A lot of you probably recognize her and have seen the post to the left. What you didn’t know is that Misty was diagnosed with Lupus, bone cancer and scleroderma (hardening of the skin). She also suffered the deaths of not one but three children, which was ultimately her reasons for turning to drugs. What hasn't been shared is the picture on the right. This woman, in all her hardship, has been in recovery for a few months now. If she can fight this fight, there is no worldly reason we can't!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#14
I was an IV drug addict for 8 years and have overdosed several times in my life. In 2018 I was on life support twice from my addiction. I got into legal trouble and lost all my kids. I was hopeless and wanted to die. God saw fit to give me another chance and I went to rehab in Barbourville KY. I sought the lord He delivered me. He set me free and I now have full custody back of all 5 of my kids. I have my own home and help other women just like myself. There is real hope out there and it’s in the lord.
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#15
My third overdose was almost my last one, but not in the way you’d hope. I was in a coma for days. I barely made it out alive. I realized that I was destined for something more than that life. Today, I have four months sober. And if I keep doing what I’m doing, that will be be my last overdose.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#16
That first picture is my mugshot. I weighed 97 pounds. When I was taken into the jail, I had a seizure and almost died (again). I had to be rushed to the emergency room and put on a ventilator. Guards were crying, because I had been there so much over the years, and they thought I was gone. I can still hear them saying, "Thats Artemisio? Oh my god. I don't know how many times that I should have left this world. I should be gone. But my higher power wasn't finished with me yet. I look at this picture and see a sad little girl who was running from all her problems and mistakes. I was numbing myself with absolutely anything and everything I could. When I see her, I cant help but love her, too. If it wasn't for where I've been, I wouldn't be where I'm at today. I had to learn the hard way (my whole life) before trying something different. Flash forward 21 months and I am a different person. In every way. Not just staying clean, but I LOVE MYSELF today. I have a work ethic like I never had. I have serenity. I'm confident. I love my friends and my life. My children have their momma back.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#17
As I think back to the state I was in 5 years ago: I was broken, lost, confused, and hated everything about myself. My arms full of track marks, in and out of rehabs and hospitals. I would wear bandaids on my face to try to keep from picking the sores I made. I never thought my life would be different. I am filled with thankfulness that I don’t know that girl anymore. I will never stop sharing what Jesus has done for me. No matter how far gone you feel or how hopeless it seems, I promise, there is hope. I pray He meets you right where you are, that He heals your heart and breaks your chains. 5 years clean!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#18
I am living a life beyond my wildest dreams for real. I’ve come a long way. It’s not much but it’s definitely some honest work I’ve put in in the almost 18 months. I do this all for myself most importantly, but also for the fallen ones so I can prove this new way of life is possible and obtainable. You just gotta put some work in. The real question is, are you ready to do so ?
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#19
258 days ago, I chose to get clean. I could never go minutes without putting something in my body. I finally threw my hands up. The benefits of being clean and sober are phenomenal, but the biggest benefit is finally being somewhat okay with myself. The drugs and alcohol were just a piece of the problem. These past 8.5 months, I finally came to terms with the fact that there’s been a problem deep down inside for years. Now, I am finally working on that.
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#20
5 years of sobriety and a life I'm finally proud of! Two times to prison. Six felonies. And more county jail arrests then I can even remember. Today, I run a business. I'm married and in a healthy relationship. I have my kids. I am finally a person I can be proud of! It's taken me a lot of nerve to even tell this much of my story, to put it out there for judgement, but I hope maybe one person can see my change and feel like they have hope!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#21
Today, June 3rd 2020 marks my one year... that’s 1 year, or 12 months, or 365 days, 8760 in hours, 525,600 in minutes, 31,536,000 in seconds… & I’m still standing.
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#22
Dear Mom, Thank you for kicking me out when I wouldn’t stop using. Thank you for never giving me money when I was dope sick . Thank you for not enabling me. Thank you for yelling at me when I wasn’t hearing you. Thank you for removing me from your life. Thank you for talking to my therapists. Thank you for the letters you wrote to me when I was in treatment. Thank you for the phone calls you took when no one else would pick up the phone. Thank you for the prayers you said. Thank you for never lying to me. Thank you for the tears you shed. Thank you for the disappointment I saw in your eyes. Thank you for the nights I slept in a train station. Thank you for forcing me to grow up. Thank you for telling me to, “figure it out." Thank you for being my mom. Thank you for teaching me to be a man. Thank you for not allowing me to play the victim. I see now you knew what you were doing the whole time.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#23
I have been an opiate addict since I was 12. When I was 25, I became addicted to meth. At 31, I tried heroin for the first time. By the time I was 32 I was dealing with heroin to support my habit. At 35, I got put in jail on a possession charge. I came out 3 months later on a 3 year deferred sentence. I am now 18 months sober. In the first picture I was 3 months sober and 2 days out of jail. The second picture is me 2 days ago and 18 months sober. God is so good. I am saved by his grace.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#24
My name is John and I’m an addict. It’s an honor to be clean and be able to tell a little bit of my story on The Addict’s Diary. I met Kevin Alter in 2012 while working at a treatment center in Miami, Florida. I never forgot him because Kevin was so dopesick that he couldn’t walk even after going to detox. I was a maintenance worker at that rehab but my favorite part of the job was when I got the opportunity to talk with a struggling client. We went back and forth for a bit chatting and then I told Kevin about the years I spent in prison. The years I lost chasing heroin and sticking needles in my arm. The opportunities I passed up, the bridges I burned, and the people I let down. After that I did what recovering addicts do best and I flipped it. I told Kevin about how in recovery I learned to swim around the bridges I burned. I told Kevin about how I became a championship fighter in recovery. I told him about how I learned to channel my pain into Martial Arts and bodybuilding. I told him about the Union job I got in recovery. I told Kevin about my family in Narcotics Anonymous and that we were there for him whenever he was ready. I saw a spark in his eye that day, we call that hope in recovery and we cannot live without it
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#25
September 2019. I laid in my bed crying out for help. I begged for someone or something to please help me because I could not go on living the way I was. It was this exact moment, that I realized I had a serious problem. If didn’t get help, I was going to die... which honestly seemed easier than fighting to get out of my mind and body every single day. Fast forward 1 year: September 2020. I am in recovery. I am living a sober life. I fight my alcoholism and my addictions on a daily basis. It is by no means easy and my no means over, but I have never felt more free than I do today. I am free of alcohol and drugs dictating my life and my every move. I no longer feel trapped and hopeless. I no longer feel angry at the world. I no longer feel broken. I no longer hate myself. My mind has never been quieter. My heart has never been more full of love, happiness and joy. My soul has never felt more at peace. Sobriety has saved my life and I finally love myself.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#26
This is reality. On the left, I am running from the cops, strung out on heroin, and getting arrested. I hated my life. I hated myself. I wanted to die. Some days I’d wish I’d just OD and get it over with. Maybe then I’d stop letting everyone down and hurting everyone I loved. I felt like I had nothing to live for. I wouldn’t eat for days at a time. I’d steal money, food, and anything just get that next high. Most of my friends and family had given up on me. I was in and out of rehab several times. I ended up on the run, leaving state, and running from the cops. It was bound to come to an end one day. Nobody can live like that forever. Eventually I ended up getting pregnant. When I found out, I cried for hours on end. How was I supposed to take care of a baby when I couldn’t even take care of myself? Fighting addiction has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my entire life. I believe god knew I needed something bigger than myself to believe in, which is why he brought me my daughter. She gave me something to believe in — something to fight for. She saved my life and I am now celebrating a little over 2 years clean!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#27
“We all hide things. We all have our secrets. Our lives are not always as rosy as they appear in our photos. I’ve shared my truth, but not all of my truth.”
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#28
5 years ago today: The sun rose ending the worst night of my life. I had spent the entire night in my broken down car alternately shooting meth and planning to kill myself. At some point in the night I screamed at God that IF He was real to DO SOMETHING. If you are struggling, know that it isn’t the end of the story. We do recover. There is a better life on the other side of your brokenness.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#29
Two months into our relationship she found me overdosed on the bathroom floor. When most women would run, she stuck by my side. She held my hand as a ventilator pushed air into my lungs. She held my hand as I clung to life. She loved me before I knew what love was. She loved me before I loved myself. I put her through hell for a year, but she never left. We’ve been together for 6 years now. The first year was terrible, but the last 5 years I have been sober. Yesterday, I held her hand and asked her to be my wife. She said YES!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#30
One year ago today I nearly lost my life. Right now I’m grateful for life. I'm grateful for second, third, fourth, and fifth chances. The happiest I’ve been in my life was the year of sobriety and happiness I found a few years ago. The spiritual experience, and the people I was able to help. I found the purpose. I found meaning to my life. Yes, I have relapsed. Yes I have relied on myself and put other things in front of my program and God, but I have not and will not ever stop fighting. That’s why I come back. Addiction is confusing, and I’m not posting this status to educate anyone on addiction. I don’t even have excuses for the multiple relapses throughout the years. I’m posting this for people who have been in and out, or who are still out. you’re not alone. I love you. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall as long as you get back up. Using stopped being fun long ago and even though maybe that first hit or drink of a spree feels good it’s never been worth it. I’m grateful an old friend sent me this. I’m grateful for my family’s support, but I’m also grateful for the boundaries they’ve set, and their decision not to enable me. I’m grateful for my sober community in Dallas, some who once were in and out like I’ve been the past 3 years. I look up to all of you and I’m happy to know there will always be a seat for me...for anyone...in the rooms.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#31
I’m not an addict but my son is a recovering addict. For four years I watched my son slip away. He lost his marriage, his children, and himself to meth. He went to RPF for 9 months. He came home and went right back to it. As the mother of an addict, I need to tell you how I felt. I cried, begged him to please come home, and I prayed endlessly. I didn’t sleep. I was afraid he’d call and I wouldn’t hear the phone. I watched his body literally wither away until he was skin and bones. I will never give up on him.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#32
Being sober isn’t something to hide or be ashamed of. The picture on the left, I was just a shell of a person. I used to live and lived to use. I didn’t know another way. Thanks to the 12 steps that led me to a relationship with God and family that never gave up on me. Sober since 12.14.18
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#33
It started back when I was a teenager. I dabbled in any drug I could find, which lead to multiple addictions. But, in the year of 2018, I discovered cocaine. That was the start of my misery and real addiction. It started off as a social drug a once a month thing, then it become an every weekend thing. Before I knew it I was using everyday. I tried many way ways to stop the addiction. I tried cold turkey (failed). I tried reducing the usage slowly (failed). So, I took a drastic step and tried to end my life (failed thankfully). I couldn’t see a way out, so one morning I went to the local drug outreach and asked for help. I worked with them for 6 months and then I made the choice to move away from my hometown. There were far too many demons and I still had access to the drugs (although I never used again the temptation was still there). Now 1 year on and I’m doing great I’ve not looked back since. The day I said no more.
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#34
My drug use brought me to some pretty terrifying places. Since I was a teenager I found myself on the streets of various cities and countries getting high. Out of options and no where to go, I eventually started selling myself in exchange for money to support my drug addiction. I felt I had crossed the line of no return. Traumatized and defeated, I continued to use... Recovery is always possible, no matter who you are or what you've been through. There is no excuse to get high
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#35
My name is Allison. I am 30 years old and just hit one year sober after many, many years of trying. I became an addict in 2012, as a pharmacy tech. It started with pills. I then got into a relationship with a man 30 years my senior who was a pharmacist and sugar daddy. He enabled me and I gave him a young sexual partner. I did so many disgusting things. I had zero self-worth. I overdosed multiple times. I went to at least 8 rehabs. Nothing clicked. In May 2019, I sent a text to someone named Linda who I knew from a previous attempt to get sober. She lived in Jacksonville, FL and I was in Augusta, GA. By some miracle from God, she texted me back and told me she was IN AUGUSTA and would be at my house in 15 minutes. She picked me up and brought me to Florida. I got here and I got a job immediately working for the CEO of a company. I made so many friends who I consider sisters. I met the most amazing man who is 2 years sober and today we are engaged. Let me say that before I came to Florida, I was on the verge of having myself declared incompetent and having my mom get legal guardianship over me. I was 100% convinced I could not take care of myself. I wanted to die. Today, I have the most beautiful life. I pay my bills. I have an amazing job. I have a car I pay for myself. I have a savings account! If things can be this amazing in a year, I can’t even imagine how amazing life will be 5 or 10 years from now!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#36
My father spent many decades in his addictions. He was a fully functioning, fun, full fledged addict. He was the cool dad. The life of the party. I can remember him showing up to my brother’s 21st birthday with all the pot and coke that you could want. I can remember all my friends wanting to spend weekends at my dad's because he was the one that let us do anything we wanted. Weekends with my dad were breaks from my mom. There were no rules, no discipline, just constant fun. Things that come with constant reckless fun: 2 ruined marriages, 6 messed up kids, and countless years of destructive behavior. I forgot to mention some highlights of all that "fun.” Like the Thanksgiving that he decided to show up hours late and tell my grandmother to shove her turkey up her ass. That time I was supposed to be going to communion dress rehearsal and instead he took me and my bestie to the beach to play in our white dresses while he sat in car with a bag and bottle. That time he walked me down the isle reeking of alcohol and wasn’t even able to remember it. I can go on forever but I won't. Today my father has a decade clean. A decade of sobriety. A decade of being present.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#37
Four years ago I was 22 and he was 39. We met while I was working at a gas station. He would come in for smokes and beer, and to hit on me. We both knew that one another were meth users. You know, an addict knows an addict. We started hanging out and using together, on and off for a little while. The sex was great, meth had us so messed up that we were talking about marrying each other and being together forever after just hanging out once. Crazy how drugs make you think. We are so forever grateful to God, AA, our church family, our sponsors, recovery groups, and eachother. I am so happy and proud to call this man my husband, and the father to our child. I still cannot believe how far we've come. WE DO RECOVER!!!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#38
Last summer we drugged hard, this summer we recovered even harder.
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#39
This is me, 60 days substance free! I have never believed in myself as much as I do right now. Thank you to everyone who has supported me, even when I felt I didn’t deserve it.
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#40
Dude on the left is full of shame using drugs, alcohol, sex and porn to cope with a shit ton of shame and undiagnosed bi-polar. Fast forward 5 years and the guy on the right has been in recovery attending a 2 week residential program, some therapist sessions, AA,NA,CA,SA, a men’s retreat and weekly small group. I have not touched booze, drugs or porn in 5 years. I have not gone manic in 5 years thanks to lithium. I now work at a detox center and hope to create a residential place for men after I finish my credentials. Many don’t struggle with the same issue but mine was shame. There’s only one way to get rid of it and that is to tell on it. Recovery saved my life.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#41
In the end I finally understood that if I wanted to be clean and sober I was going to have to take every single suggestion. I could no longer afford to convince myself that I was unique or the exception to the rule when it came to addiction. Why? Because I tried that for years. My first treatment center was at 17 years old. They told me I was an addict, and if I wanted to be clean I was going to have to do X, Y, and Z. What did I do? I told myself, “I could smoke weed. I could drink beers. I could hang around the same people and everything will be fine.” What did that perspective get me? Ten more years of pain and suffering. Ten more years of needles going in and out of my arms. Ten more years of me checking in and out of treatment centers. Ten more years of picking and choosing my way of doing recovery until I learned the hard way. Play it by the numbers. Do what works. Talk to people who are sober. Most of them did it a certain way. Terminally unique and a chronic relapser—that was me. If that’s you, I pray you receive a swift and brutal consequence of doing it your own way that grants you the jarring experience necessary to become honest, open-minded, and willing to take these suggestions.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#42
When I was 18 years old, I met a guy. Little did I know he was an addict. We were in love and moved in with each other quick. I quickly discovered his opioid and cocaine addiction. I was very curious myself and he convinced me to try it. I loved it and the way it made me feel. I've never been a happy person, and drugs make me feel amazing. A couple months went by and one day I got home from work, and my ex boyfriend had a needle and a bag of heroin. He told me how great it would be and I was a fool not to try it. That's when my hardcore heroin addiction started. Summer 2017. I started college that fall. I was a college freshman battling a heroin addiction. It didn't go well. I had A's in all classes but flunked out for missing so many days. Getting high was more important than school. I got arrested 4 times summer 2018, and my car was impounded. I was 20 years old with 13 felonies over my head. Fast forward to summer 2020. I'm free from that toxic relationship. I'm no longer addicted to a substance that took everything from me. I have a car now! I have a job, not just a job..a career! I work in the human services field and get to give back and help others now. I can't believe how beautiful my life it. I almost feel like it's all a dream!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#43
Hi, my names Kylie and I’m an addict. I am 24 years old. I’ve struggled for years with meth addiction. On January 28th, 2020, I overdosed, followed by MRSA, pneumonia, and a stroke. I had respiratory failure, and many many issues. I spent 12 days sedated, and was intubated twice during this period. 14 days in ICU, and another 10 in a normal room in the hospital. I learned to walk and talk again, and still have some issues from this. Since then, I have been clean. It has been the scariest journey of my life, and the hardest thing I have had to deal with. I did go to an inpatient rehab, and I am recovering. I’ve been recovering medically and from my addiction since that day, and will continue to recover. I’ve had a huge blessing come into my life, and I am expecting January 26, 2021. If I can recover, I believe anyone can. My life has done a complete 360, and I have never been so happy and healthy in my life!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#44
One year ago, I was eating out of Taco Bell’s dumpster sleeping on cardboard. I’ve been completely demoralized to the point where I’ve forced my spirit to leave my body. I take pride in knowing that pain. But I have so much more to offer to the universe. Today I have my own pillow and my own bed. I also have 11 months clean today!
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#45
My ex-husband Joey served in Iraq twice in 2007 and 2009. He was always a proud Marine. He always used some substance throughout his teens and early adulthood. Coming home from Iraq was a struggle for him and he was struggling with PTSD. I was already drowning in addiction when he came home and it didn't take long to follow me into that rabbithole. I've been clean 9 years today, but this is his story not mine. He entered treatment repeatedly through the VA but was never successful for long periods of time. He went from being addicted to narcotic opiate pain pills to suboxone on to heroin then finally meth and subutex. He missed out on everything from baseball games, father/daughter dances, first day of school, kindergarten graduation, and the birth of his fourth child because he couldn't find his way out. He gave up and eventually so did almost everyone else. Except me that is. I couldn't help until he was ready though and one day that happened. Joey was ready and he took the first step and went to detox, then treatment, then transitional, and now he is working, he's rebuilding his relationships with our kids, he is a college student and he celebrates one year today the same day I celebrate 9 years. Again this story is his not mine. He has his light back. There is hope in eyes that were dead for far too long. He is who he has always been meant to be.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#46
The top left photo is me with my best friend when we were about 16. That was the beginning of years of drug use. The photo on the bottom left was at Moving Forward treatment center one year ago today. I had finally convinced Kyle to go there and get some help. He had just overdosed, again. There weren’t many people that had much faith left in him. But I remembered that kid from the top left. The kid that was so charismatic that everyone just wanted to be around him. The athlete. The student. My brother. The photo on the right was from this evening. It is that exact same spot at Moving Forward treatment center. The only difference is, Kyle is no longer a client there. Now, he works there. And today he celebrated one year of continuous sobriety. Today, he is an example for other men in Portsmouth who want to get sober. Today, Kyle Darby is back — and I’m honored to be his friend. Don’t give up on your people, folks. They may just surprise you.
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#47
I went from a strung out homeless unemployable convict in mid-2006 to a father of two sons, husband, homeowner, and a carpenter. I’ve earned a bachelors degree in addiction counseling, a masters degree in clinical mental health counseling and am now a licensed addiction counselor. I am living proof that good things happen when we do the next right thing. The first picture is a mug shot from a 2004 arrest for possession of heroin, flight from an officer, theft and battery of an officer and the second is my graduation pic from last December after completing my masters degree and passing my licensure exam. This disease never rests so neither can we.
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#48
My life was completely destroyed over and over again by meth. Went to prison, lost my home, my family, my purpose, and my almost my life. I was down to skin and bones. I am proud to say I’ve now reached 2 1/2 years clean!
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#49
A little while ago my grandma sent me a message saying, “ If you ever start to forget where you came from, here’s a reminder. I’m so proud of you!” Along with that, she sent me some pictures of me in active addiction. And can I just say ... WOW! Passed out in her bathroom, on the toilet, pants down, because I thought if it looked like I was actually using the restroom she wouldn’t suspect I was using drugs when she busted in. And passed out in her driveway because I was no longer was wanted inside anywhere and just needed somewhere I felt safe enough to use and sleep without the fear of cops or being seen. My life is a direct reflection of the work I’ve put in to get and STAY clean and I cant wait to see what this next year brings. My name is Donae, and I am a RECOVERING drug addict.
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#50
The guy on the left was addicted to crack cocaine and alcohol. He had no future. He stayed in and out of rehabs. 13 of them to be exact. He was living in hell. He was slowly dying; physically, mentally, and spiritually. But by the grace of God, he humbled himself and asked for help from a power greater than himself. The guy on the right is him today, clean and sober for three years. God did for me what I could not do for myself. Today I try to help others. I share my story of recovery. I am a witness that with God all things are possible.
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#51
99% of the time when I would drink, I would black out. Almost every time that I went out, I would get into physical fights with people, I’d wake up in random beds, stay out until sunrise, total my car driving drunk, I have woken up in the hospital countless times not remembering anything! I have been baker acted multiple times, and I would pass out on the side of the streets alone. All I looked forward to was going out at night and sleeping the entire next day. I lost all interest in hobbies and anything that didn’t revolve around alcohol. I became suicidal and severely depressed and started mixing alcohol with drugs. One day I decided that I couldn’t take it any more. My life became unmanageable and I decided that I FINALLY wanted to make a change. I had a spiritual awakening and learned to love myself again. My higher power and the support from my family and friends is what helped to get me through this and I am forever grateful for 8 months sober!
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#52
Hi my name's Casey, and I'm an addict. I started using heroin at 14 when my father was killed in a car accident. It tore my world and myself apart. I began using crack when I was 17 and I lived to use. I cared about absolutely nothing else. My brother got brain cancer and I was more worried about sticking a needle in my arm than seeing him. That is one of my biggest regrets. But I have learned if I hold on to the things I could, should, would of done, I would continue down that path. It took seven years but I am now clean for 703 days. I have held a job for over a year. I am now allowed back into my family's houses and they dont have to watch me every second. I can now love, live, and feel again. We do recover. You can do it. I never thought I'd be here. But you have to want it. And I finally wanted it bad enough I did whatever it took to get it.
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#53
My name is Kayla and I am about to be 26! During my years in active addiction I was in and out of jail many times. I was addicted to meth and I used the needle. I was tired. I was hopeless. I was lost. I was hurting and I had no idea what to do about it. In June 2014 I was arrested for armed robbery and sent to prison for 42 months! When I came home from prison I felt great but the transition was hard and I had my heart broken over and over. I started hating myself and blaming myself because I felt like I wasn’t enough to be loved. I got depressed and after four years of sobriety, I made an awful decision and I relapsed. I spent five more months in active addiction. Then, in February of 2019, I woke up one day and told myself that I am better than the choices I was making. I was killing myself all over again over a broken heart! I’ve been clean again for a year and three months. In that time, I have come so far! I’m married and I have built such a beautiful life for myself! If I can do it then I have faith in every other drug addict! You are all loved and chosen! You are worth more than anything! You deserve to live and I mean live life to the fullest!!! Take it one day at a time! Remember, when times get hard that the hard times never last and with every new day brings a new beginning! Never give up hope!
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#54
There was a time in my life when I couldn’t get three day clean. This year I celebrated 3 years clean. We do recover!
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#55
Today marks 2 years and one day since my kids almost lost their father. The picture on the top is from a Police Officer’s Body Cam of me overdosed, blue, and close to death. My girlfriend and I got a lot of criticism from so many people that could only go off what they wrote in the news stories about us. These people tried to label us many things. They sarcastically called me, "father of the year". They had no sympathy or understanding that deep down we had a spiritual malady. No understanding that deep down I hated myself and already believed all the bad things they said about me. Today, I love myself. Today, I have a relationship with God, my family, my kids and my girl and I are both sober. I want to thank everyone who has crossed my path and helped me over the last 11 years. From the corrections officers at the jails to all the techs and counselors at the many treatment centers and detoxes. I'm so grateful for them and all of the other addicts in my life that never gave up on me. I will spend the rest my life trying to change the stigma of addiction and helping other addicts. Thanks to everyone in my life and all the men in my sponsor family for being a part of my story. I love you all.
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#56
1,000 days ago the doctors didn’t know if I was going to live or die. Recovery saved my life!
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#57
2 years ago today I was at the lowest point in my life. I was strung out, homeless & ready to end it all. I remember looking into my daughters crib, crying and promising her that daddy was going to get help. I remember the pain I felt & the pain I caused in everyones lives around me. Those are things I never want to forget. Today, the only tears my daughter has seen me cry are tears of joy. Today, I’m Just A Dad From Akron building a company from the ground up to show the struggling ones in my City its possible to turn your life around & be the change our community needs. Its a blessing to be the father & mentor I always dreamed of being. Without God and all the amazing people he continues to put in my life none of this would be possible. TODAY WE CELEBRATE 2 YEARS OF CONTINUOUS SOBRIETY!
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#58
It’s wild that I’ve been clean for 800 days. Looking at this picture I remember feeling like death all the time now I’m finally alive!! I had tried so many times to do what’s right but I kept failing. Sometimes I didn’t even care about what happened and wanted to give up. I’m glad I didn’t!
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#59
4 YEARS OF SELF DISCOVERY! Remember when they used to make fun of me? Remember when they laughed at my ideals? Remember they said I would never make it? Remember when they called me names? Remember all the dark days in hell? Remember all the institutions? Remember all the hate on our success? Remember all the late nights and hard work? Remember all the failures we pushed through? Remember how you always believed in me? Remember when your supported me? Remember how you stood by my side when everyone else left and laughed? Remember we worked harder than the rest? WELL I REMEMBER! And I will never forget the ones who stuck by my side through the last 4 years in the hardest of time. Thank you all for everything!
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#60
I am celebrating 8 years clean! I didn't know 5-8-12 would be the last day I would use, but God had other plans for me. I got arrested again for drug charges. I had been a homeless IV user for years. The judge said, "Nothing has worked for you. Probation, drug court, house arrest, county jail stints, mandatory 12 step meetings, or substance abuse programs. So I'm sending you to state prison, I hope you change your life.” I had no idea during this sentence that I would find freedom. I had to be removed from the streets and that life for over two years to get my mind right. 60 days was never enough. My outlook on life changed. I discovered I was worth more and decided I wouldn't waste another minute using. Over that time I got healthy and saw some light at the end of the tunnel. I started running which was a huge part of my recovery and still is. When I got out in 2014, my desire to use was gone. It just was. No magical spiritual awakening or 12 steps. I had always prayed to God even when I was using. Making amends and helping others was a natural progression. I did things that empowered me. I adopted a new lifestyle that was more fulfilling than what I found in drugs. I trained for marathons and got a job working in treatment. I took the opportunity to create a new life. I honestly had accepted I would be an addict the rest of my life and everything changed in one day. If it can happen for me, it can happen for you!
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#61
“I started using drugs and drinking at the age of 13. My addiction led me to multiple treatments, overdoses, hospitalizations, and eventually it led to me being homeless. Cocaine, xanax, and opiates dictated my every move and I didn’t care who I had to hurt to get my next high. Finally, I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I found God and he absolutely saved me. Now I am 18 years of age and I have four months clean. I am so grateful that now I get to show up in life the way that I want. I am forever grateful. We do recover.” -Quick update on Blake. This morning he texted me to let me know that today, at just 18 years old, he celebrates one year clean!
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#62
I was broken, defeated, and miserably hopeless. After years of failed attempts, I’d given up. Fortunately, God doesn’t give up, and neither did my family. The spirit believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. My attitude and outlook upon life has changed. What a beautiful thing. Through God I’ve been clean and sober since 1/7/2018.
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#63
The first pic is 2008 and that was the day I was locked up for Armed robbery. The second pic is 2018 and is a consequence of my many years of using. My heart had been so damaged from 3 previous heart attacks that I had a double bypass to repair all the damage done from using drugs. I was in active addiction for 23 years! The 3rd and final pic just amazes me to know how blessed I really am! I was once an empty shell of a person who wished for death daily. Now I am so grateful that I didn't give up on myself! I am so proud of the woman I have become and I actually love and respect her these days! It just goes to show that we do recover!
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#64
One year ago today, I woke up broken. Every fiber of my being was worn to nothing from the final reach for air in my drowning. Somehow, I felt the tides of change wash over me and had the wherewithal to take a picture of myself. I’m glad I did, because that picture serves as a reminder of who I was. In that moment, there was nothing left to do but die or accept help. One year ago today, I admitted complete defeat in my battle against drugs and alcohol. In this moment, I finally became ready to accept help. In reaching for help, I found those who had walked my path and their only mission was to grab my hand and fight like hell with me, for we cannot right this battle alone. In this new freedom, I found anger, sadness, frustration, and lots and lots of fear. In my journey to sobriety, I found recovery. And there is a big, big difference between the two. I found love and forgiveness for myself, I learned a lot about my disease, and I was able to clear away the wreckage of my past. I’ve become a whole new woman. This has been the biggest and toughest battle of my life. It’s been so much work. But it’s been worth it. Did you know that a lotus, one of the worlds most beautiful flowers, will only grow in the mud? I found this to be true for the addict/alcoholic. As we fight like hell out of active addiction, we seem to blossom into something beautiful. No matter how hopeless our situation may seem, there seems to be one thing that always rings true: We do recover.
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#65
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#66
Active addiction in 2016 versus life today, clean! We do recover!
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#67
3 years ago I was lost, broken, and living in a world of hopelessness. Every day I was praying that God would take me out of the misery. I had lost everything! I remember praying and begging God to just let me die. In that moment I got an answer that said, “You’re not done yet.” I remember the feeling of defeat and dismay to this answer. I remember questioning how I could possibly take one more breath? It was on this day that I was swept up and offered treatment. It is crazy how we all have a plan, we all have a purpose. Never could I ever have imagined that my life would be what it is today! It took losing everything to find the worth of my soul. Today I get to be a woman of integrity. Today I have the most amazing people surrounding my life. Today I get to wake up everyday and show up for someone other than myself. Today the healing continues with the people I hold dearest and today I am finally free! We are not what we have done, we are everything we overcome!
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#68
I was battling addiction for a year and a half. I lost everything I had multiple times. I put my family through hell by being selfish. I was sleeping floor to floor, selling and doing dope. Then one day I was battling my demons and I almost took my own life. That’s when I told myself that it was enough and signed myself in to rehab August 11th, 2020. I’m ready for a new life. Tomorrow makes 30 days clean and sober for me!
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#69
I’ve never shared this mugshot from my active addiction. It’s always made me feel ashamed and disgusted. But today, I am able to it share with you .. BECAUSE I AM NOT ASHAMED! I am proud of the woman I have become and look forward to the woman I will be. RECOVERY MADE THAT POSSIBLE. 3.13.16. NO MORE STIGMA. NO MORE SHAME. This is what recovery looks like!
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#70
This was me on the left in the thickness of my addiction. Heroin ruled my life. It took me to places I had never been and never wanted to go... it stole my personality, my freedom, my health, my family, my hope for any kind of a future. The me on the right is today. Clean off heroin. Free from the bondage of addiction. Free and my soul shouts to God in praise and joy. God did for me what I could not do for myself. I am not a perfect person and just because I’m clean doesn’t mean life doesn’t happen- but today, I can lean on God to guide me through every valley. I have my family in my life, I have an amazing job, I have beautiful friends. Thank you God.
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#71
My name is Tim and I am a grateful, recovering addict. I remember being homeless. I remember walking the streets. I remember not having anywhere to go. I remember being tired. I remember being sick. I remember lying, stealing and abandoning my child. I remember all the crimes I committed. I remember pushing everyone away. I remember being miserable inside of a jail cell. I was beaten and broken. NA is the only place that has ever made me feel at home. I feel like I belong somewhere for the first time in my life. When I hear someone share what they have overcome, that tells me that I can do it too. I’m grateful because God has always had a plan for me. I just had to get out of my own way. Today, I don’t forget to remember where I came from.
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#72
Today marks my 1 year of Sobriety, being 100% clean and sober, and I couldn't be more blessed than I am today especially having come this far.
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#73
Blessed to have just over 8 months clean and sober.
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#74
I have been struggling with my heroin addiction for many years. Along the way, I have lost many friends. This stuff steals your soul. On the left, I was homeless on the streets of Chicago. On the right, I am 24 days clean after an overdose that, in a way, saved my life. The other guy in the photo lost his life to the disease. I am one of the lucky ones.
Image credits: The Addict's Diary
#75
These two pictures were taken 9 years apart. This is what it looks like to overcome heroin addiction. Thank you God!
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#76
The pic on the left was right before I got clean in beginning of 2017 and the right is current. I struggled with addiction on and off from age 15 to age 22. I wanted to die. I can’t even count the number of times I tried to off myself. But here I am, 3 and a half years later, healthier and happier than I ever thought possible. I can’t even believe that was me.
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#77
I have a hole in my heart. I’ve been in countless trap houses. I’ve stood shoulder to shoulder with a man when he was shot. I could go on, but here I am. I’ve completely bettered myself. In the last 53 days. I have gotten a lot back. I have a car. I’ve gotten back to work. My relationship with my mom has never been this good, not to mention the relationship I’ve rebuilt with my son! I never thought that I would be able to get to this point in my life. I thought that I was going to die an addict. But for whatever reason, whether it be a higher power or just my damn luck, I’m still here and I will forever be grateful for the people that stood by my side.
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#78
The photo on the right was August 26th, 2019. I was arrested for manufacturing methamphetamine, unlawful carrying of a stolen pistol, and manufacturing, distribution & possession of fentanyl. I had two broken cigarettes in my pocket when we were pulled over. Now, you see me on the left, 10 months later! All the people back in SC that said I couldn’t do it, that I wouldn’t be anything, well look at your classmate now!
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#79
Hi, my name is Taylor and I’m an addict. My life has been radically changed by recovery. It's hardly ever easy but I have been gifted to appreciate the small things in life. The Lord has taken me from the likes of this first picture—to now. I'm getting married in August. I'm a staff member at a faith-based recovery center. I couldn't have done it without God. All of the testimonies I have seen and read about on the page made me believe it was possible. Thank you. God Bless!
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#80
My name is Ryan and I’m an addict. Yesterday made 5 years clean and sober for me!
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#81
My name is Chelsea. I was on meth and pain pills. I lost my family, my kids, and my home. I almost lost my life, but here I am with 2 years clean! I have a wonderful relationship with my family. I have my kids back. I work everyday and I just got a house. People can change and I am proof of that. God is real and anyone can beat this disease.
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#82
My name is Caitlin and I am 6 months and 20 days clean from opioids. I started with Percocet and went down hill from there. I almost lost my family. I hated myself. The pills were making me say and do things I wouldn’t normally do. My family began not trusting me and started locking everything up. I was selling things I really wanted just to get my next fix. I was very lucky and didn’t ever get caught and have to spend time in jail. But the route I was going, it would’ve happened eventually. I faced off against addiction and I fought for my life. It was tough, but I did it. I’ve never been so proud of myself.
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#83
I was adopted when I was little, I had two loving parents. I was longing for my birth mother I did not even know it. I never felt worthy, I subconsciously thought if only I could prove myself she would come back. As I grew up the pain never left it just presented differently. I partied and drank to the point of being physically and mentally numb. All I cared about was myself, my looks, my next night to party and go out to the bar. I hurt people because I was hurting. I could not hold down a job, a relationship let alone myself. The emotional pain underneath the surface was deep in my soul, I was just surviving I was not truly living. Two years ago I finally hit my breaking point I checked myself into an inpatient mental health facility. In 2018 I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. They helped me heal the physical effects of alcohol so that I could begin the mental and emotional healing process. I have had to do the work, two years of several types of therapy, and self-discipline. I found self-love for the first time. I am now in leadership with one of the best companies in my city. Emotional healing is what saved my life. Please hang on to hope, you are worthy of healing and love. We do recover!
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#84
Hey y’all, my name is Cole. It’s amazing what only 90 days off meth and heroin feels and looks like. If you’re still out there struggling, just know that it can get better quickly!
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#85
To the left is me at 160 pounds in the midst of an 8 year heroin and fentanyl addiction. To the right is me today at 210 pounds and 1 week away from celebrating my first year clean!
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#86
My mom showed me this photo on the left for the first time today. It’s a photo of me nodding out during my intake at the treatment center. I can’t imagine how she felt that day. The photo on the right is me sober today. I’m a little over 7 months clean from Heroin. I never thought I could ever go more than 6 hours without it but look at me now!
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#87
The photo on the left was me in active addiction; using needles and doing whatever I could get my hands on. I was missing out on my kids lives and slowly killing myself. Not long after this photo, I attempted to take my own life and failed. I called a treatment center and brought myself to get the help I so badly needed. I got clean and went “home” where I very quickly relapsed. I picked myself back up again and made a promise to myself and my kids that I would put my all into it this time. I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd child after only being clean for about 2.5 weeks. The picture on the right is me now, 2 years and 4 months clean. I had a beautiful baby girl who I named Serenity — after the serenity prayer. I have all 3 of my kids home with me and I am so grateful for my recovery. Mother’s Day now takes on a whole new meaning for me now, thanks to sobriety. I can finally be the mother I always knew I could be!
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#88
I keep that picture to remind myself where it took me, where I was. I felt defeated. I look at the other picture and I think, 'Wow, I did it.' Today I celebrate my life! 6yrs clean from the grips of meth addiction! If you are still in the midst of this ugly nightmare please know there is hope. You too can beat this and have a beautiful life. It is NEVER too late. Forgive yourself and know that you are worthy! I am blessed to have the love and forgiveness of all that love me! I love my life and I love all my friends and family that have always supported me.
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#89
? ????? ????? & ? ???????? ?? ?? 2 years ago I gained the courage to walk in a new direction. My name is Autumn and I’m an addict celebrating 2 years in recovery!
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#90
Today, July 23rd 2020 - we have one year! My life was spiraling out of control so fast. I couldn’t see a way out. Wishing the drugs would take me out of my misery. Several rehabs and relapse after relapse. I remember just wanting to give up after every treatment center but I kept fighting. Gave myself that chance. Truly feel blessed today. I couldn’t do this alone, strength in numbers. Grateful for everyone who always believed in me and loved me when I couldn’t.
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#91
When I get in my feelings, I like to look at the picture on the left. Things could always be worse. I was a monster in the picture on the left. You can see it in my eyes that I just didn’t care. I would take your stuff and help you look for it and not feel the least bit guilty. I didn’t care about who I hurt or what the consequences were. I’m not that person today. Everyone has a past. Unfortunately, mine’s worse than most. But I can honestly say that’s not the person I am today and I’m grateful for that. I am grateful for the people who chose to stick by my side because they know the real me and know my potential.
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#92
My wife and I just celebrated 9 and 6 years sober. We initially got together in 2004. Through multiple treatments, prison, and a ton of bumps and bruises along the way, a loving God dusted us off and got us back on track. Couple that with a ton of hard work, we have a life we couldn't have dreamed of.
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#93
The first picture was taken in October 2018. I left a bad abusive relationship where I was addicted to crystal meth. I tried leaving several times but didn't know how. Luckily, I finally got away. The second picture is since I've been home from a discipleship program called Adult and Teen Challenge of Mississippi for women. I thank God for saving me when He did and setting me on His foundation. I will be one year and ten months sober on the 29th this month. I have been completely sober from everything: alcohol, drugs and sex.
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#94
I let alcohol nearly destroy my life. Now, with only 10 months of sobriety, I'm living again. If I can do it, so can YOU! I also ran my first marathon last month. Anything is possible if you put the work into it!
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#95
The first photo for speaks itself, me on fentanyl, which I was battling along with meth — and it got so much worse. The second is after 4 months and 5 days clean and being able to rebuild my folks chimney, whose house Ive been staying at in Quebec. I am grateful I am alive to do this for them and myself. I had a lot of help along the way. Even if it’s tough now, I’m happy I’m here and not in that place anymore. One day at a time.
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#96
My past defines my present! Without the addiction, turmoil and hardships I put myself through, I probably would have never found my inner strength and enlightenment. I would have never on been able to totally overhaul myself into a better man, father and human being. My life and story is filled with broken promises, empty words, zero accountability, and a total disregard for anyone's feelings or well being — including my own! I dont tell my story and things I've done for likes, sympathy, or praise. I tell my story in hopes that one day it finds that one lost soul and they can read back through my words and find a light. That the realize that no matter how deep you have dug yourself, there is always a chance to put down that shovel and start filling up that hole! There is life after addiction. It’s hard and takes work but it is so well worth the fight!!!
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#97
If you put your heart into your recovery you can stay clean. The pain you feel from detox until you hit "the wall" is nothing you can't handle. Through this resiliency, you gain traction in recovery. This footing is the foundation of my new life. I make meaning out of my story. I have compassion for those who get sucked into drugs and I am deeply grateful for the second chance at life. I haven't used or drank anything since October 21st, 2016. I have been busy enjoying life, getting an education, starting a business, getting married, and being the father my son deserves. Sleeping behind an appliance store and chasing the dragon no longer suits me. Thanks for letting me share my narrative. Smash the heart react for our people still in the grips of addiction.
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#98
My husband and I met in active addiction three years ago. I had a daughter. We were homeless, unemployed, and out of control. At the time, my daughter was living with grandparents and had been for years because of my addiction. In March of 2018 we found out we had another kid coming. We are now 2 years sober. We have custody of our children. We just bought a home. Ethan has a good job. Recovery is possible!
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